Periodically (at least once a month, it seems), I go into a “Blah” period with regards to my writing. Everything I’m currently writing is crap and most of what I’ve written in the past is the same, or so I tell myself. Maybe I should just retire from writing and find a hobby, I say.
Sometimes I even try to do that for a bit… but it never sticks. Writing is a compulsion for me and it’s not always a pleasant one. There are definitely times where I hate the act of writing and the process of creation — I wish I could take a hammer to my laptop and escape the pressures to produce. The pressures are almost always internally driven — sure, I have deadlines I need to meet, but for the most part, if I quit tomorrow, there wouldn’t be any empires toppling, if you know what I mean.
My compulsion isn’t to the point where it negatively impacts the rest of my life… I don’t think. But there are times I think it will drive me insane. I can feel the tingling in my fingertips that says I need to type. I need the repetitious pounding of my fingers on the keys, coupled by the clicking of the keyboard. I have to spew forth the words that are are racing through my veins or it’ll kill me. That’s what it feels like.
So I’ll close Microsoft Word and try to focus my attention elsewhere… but it’s inevitable. The urge will get too strong or something will spark a scene in my head….
And the typing will begin again.
Which is good… right?